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Are you putting up boundaries or walls? As someone who used to avoid conflict like it was my job, this is a topic near and dear to my heart.
I used to be a person who always showed up for other people…to my own detriment. I wasn’t taking care of myself because I was over-giving to others. So I had to learn how to say “no”, and that was a hard skill for me to develop at first. As a natural peacekeeper, I had to learn that boundaries are critical to me being my best self.
Boundaries are essential to nourish us and give us forward direction in our lives. Areas where you feel imbalance are a wonderful place to start setting boundaries.
But when they become too rigid they turn into a wall that can hold us back from playing BIG in life. When our walls become too rigid, we tend to go into more of a self-defense or protection mode. That can be equally detrimental at times.
To begin setting boundaries we first have to build awareness around what environment and habits help us feel our best. Start to notice what you’re doing differently when you feel really good versus not so good.
Where are the areas you are advocating for yourself and which ones do you tend to hold yourself back in? How does each make you feel when you do?
This is a great way to begin noticing where to say YES more in your life and where to say NO…gracefully and respectfully.
Boundaries are not meant to be rigid, unless it was a harmful or toxic situation. They are flexible in the sense that they allow you to be at choice. 90% of the time we aim to honor the boundaries we set because they help us feel and be our best.
However, there are times when we want to make a different decision based on various factors or opportunities that are happening in that season of life.
Walls are a defense mechanism to protect us from harmful or toxic scenarios. Sometimes a boundary can turn into a wall and the main thing you want to do is get curious.
The more rigid we live the less open we are to different perspectives and ways of being in the world.
Check out the replay for all the details! We often tend to make boundaries intimidating or hard. In this live, we explore how setting boundaries can actually be easy for us!
There are quite a lot of nuances around boundaries versus walls, so I invite you to listen to the replay so you can start incorporating healthy boundaries in your life this week.
I’d love to hear your takeaway, challenges you have with boundaries, or a boundary that you want to put in place below! As we discussed in this IGTV, so much about Revived Living is about community and giving, so let’s share our learning!